Good Riddance 2016!!!!

31 12 2016

I, for one, am relieved to have 2016 at an end. I have learned a lot, some of it interesting (mostly the genealogy progress), but most of it unpleasant at the very least. I learned that I can not even turn to my blood relatives, family, for aid. I was not asking for more than a small loan, a hand up to get myself a way to earn some kind of income. I was told, basically, to go away, get on public aid and leave them alone. Why anyone would want to sell themselves in that particular slavery I don’t know. I had to deal with it while the step kids were growing up and it was a misery every minute we were on it. I succeeded in removing myself from that and had hoped to make a passable living, I didn’t expect to get rich, just have what I needed to have my home and the other necessities of life. The response was cold, lecturing me to be “responsible”, something that anyone who really knows me would find odd as I have been told on more than one occasion that I am responsible to a fault, and walk away from everything that means something to me because it costs money. Well, the logical argument then becomes, if it costs money, then pretty much everything is not worth anyone’s bother. Evidently the money part is what hits them hardest. I was not asking for a gift, I was requesting a small loan ($1,000.00). I explained my thinking and plan but was told that it would be “too hard”. I almost decided to copy that missive from the great and powerful family but changed my mind. Am I angry? You better f**king believe it! Am I hurt? Damned right I am!

Do any of you have items from your ancestors that are precious? Things, physical objects that are irreplaceable? Well, I do and I certainly have no intention of walking away and losing them if I can find a way to prevent that. I found something that I am physically capable of doing, I was asking for help to get what I needed to start, a hand up, a way to earn a living. Would it be “hard”, of course, on some days very hard on others not at all, but most jobs fall into that kind of sphere. Do I have the right to ask blood relatives for assistance? I thought so, evidently not. The response was so cold, so dismissive, like I was the most embarrassing thing to them that they could imagine. The thought that they might have to face a reality other than their own insular little place must have been too much for them. Strange, after all the help, of all kinds, provided by my parents and myself to them when they were in need. I wasn’t asking to be supported for any space of time, wasn’t asking to move in with any of them (a thought that nauseates me), wasn’t asking to have any long term commitment from them. I’m just disgusted by them all. I’ve researched the ancestors, read of the way they helped and supported each other, physically, emotionally and financially, taking in aunts or uncles, children from family members who were too ill to care for them, the things families used to do without much discussion. It was family, that was enough.

I suppose that I should not post this, however, I promised myself to be honest here on the blog. I don’t name names, I write under a pseudonym because my spouse insisted. But the facts are the truth, my response is honest. Maybe my rants will help someone else along the way, they certainly help me. I’ve had more loving, caring response from my fellow bloggers than from my own family, for which I am grateful beyond words, for their kindness and moral support.

I want to support myself, I want to keep what’s mine, those irreplaceable physical items that mean so much, the ones that remind me of the person every time I see or touch them, the ones that carry the love they bore me. I suppose in some ways I’m tied to the physical in ways that many people can’t understand, but that is how I am. It gives me great joy to hold or touch an object my mother used almost daily in the kitchen, or a tool my father used in his work, a small table of my maternal grandmother’s, nothing great and expensive, simple daily items I’ve lived with all my life that keep the spirit of those people closest to me near by.

I am hoping and praying that 2017 will be the complete opposite of this past wretched year and I don’t even include any of the more obvious events in the world in that wretched.

I wish all of you, my readers, a Most Wonderful New Year, filled with health, prosperity, blessings, joy and hope.





The State of Things

14 07 2016

At present I am in temporary quarters, thanks to a very good friend who has allowed me and my spouse to stay in a building they own after we were evicted from my home of 46 1/2 years. Things are chaotic and unsettled at present (July 2016) and we are hoping and praying that we will be in a more permanent situation before winter.Also that we well be able to keep our possessions which are in two large storage units (on which the rent just went up). Despite my best efforts I am still without a job, a situation that has gone on far too long and has been extremely frustrating, I am not interested in hearing that I will be bored with whatever job is available nor am i interested in hearing that I am overqualified (all the more reason to hire me, you’d never have to wonder if I could do what I was hired to do and I never get bored either, never have and don’t see that as a possibility in the future – I believe choosing boredom is just that, a choice).The lack of a job also means that I have no income, only waht little I was able to save which is now being used to keep the storage units.

The way things are also means that I do not have access to my genealogy records, notes etc, and while a lot of it is on my computer, which I do have, there are things that were to be scanned and photographed. All the materials for the things I make are also scattered around in the storage units and are not easily available. I was able to save a few of the plants that were in my garden, they’re all in pots, and was rewarded by one of the Oriental lilies blooming this week.

Oriental Lily - blooming while grosing in a pot.

Oriental Lily – blooming while grosing in a pot.

We had storms this evening and a pervasive golden glow instead of a sunset and a rainbow. This is the second rainbow in the last week, it wasn’t possible to get a photo of the first one.

This evening's rainbow.

This evening’s rainbow. This is looking east.

I apologize for the unpleasant nature of this post, however, that is how things stand at present.

 





Oh GACK!

9 12 2014

Here we go – again. Change for the sake of change. Make it look new and shiny and ….

Where the blazes did my info go? What the heck did they do to my dashboard? my stats page?

Not happy with the “improvement” – it ain’t and improvement. GACK!!

Everybody’s doing it, WordPress, PayPal (that’s another mess to try and get to what you need with all the spiffy “upgrades” and “improvements” which only made it more confusing to figure out where the thingy went that was needed), Facebook (always busy messing with what wasn’t busted and didn’t need fixing), and I don’t know how many other sites. All of them making it “easier” to get fouled up, spend more time being confused or just flat-out giving up on what you went there to do.

Why is it so flaming necessary to go doing that sort of thing? Do they even realize that they turn people off to their sites when they do this sort of thing? Keep it up all of you, I’ll finally reach a point where it’s more freaking trouble than it’s worth and I’ll just permanently unplug from the internet.

GACK!!!