A New Year

6 01 2018

I am glad 2017 is gone. It was another year of huge losses, frustration and promises by others unkept. I’ve done my part, tried to secure employment which didn’t happen (it seems that my age and appearance are a major factor, which, as I see it, shouldn’t matter a damn), lost everything in the storage units (which included family heirlooms, household goods, my library – everything) and am still without any kind of medical or dental care or income – such fun.

I am still in temporary quarters, preparing to move to more temporary quarters downstairs when the apartment is ready. I was told at the beginning of 2017 that we would be in a house, permanently, before the middle of the year – didn’t happen. Not because I didn’t work toward it, I did, it wasn’t something that I really had any kind of influence over in the first place, all of it was in the hands of other people.

I don’t think it’s easy for others to understand that when a person is physically disabled, they lose a lot of their autonomy, they are overlooked, ignored, passed over regardless of their education, gifts, skills or whatever, they’re “different”. Things have gotten better generally for physically disabled people but there are still a lot of jobs that are simply beyond my physical abilities and there doesn’t seem to be a point to trying to get a job it is not possible for me to do physically. I had an acquaintance tell me that I should volunteer at a soup kitchen, which I wouldn’t mind, but the staff said when I called to ask about it that there wouldn’t be much point, I’d have to be able to stand for at least a couple of hours (not something I can do, no matter how much I might want to). Should I even mention trying the “work-at-home” scams? I tried the transcription thing but it certainly wasn’t something that would afford a viable income, not even “pin-money”. The audio was generally wretchedly unintelligible, and there was a lot of jargon and crosstalk, it took 5 hours to “earn” $1.86.  I type fast enough, it just wasn’t possible to understand enough of what was said to transcribe it.

However, I’m investigating some other options, there’s got to be something that will generate an income and that is within my physical limitations. I’m hoping that 2018 will see us in a house, permanently. I’m deeply grateful for the temporary quarters, I can’t say I even want to think about where I and my spouse would’ve been otherwise. We’ve had food, heat and electricity, a functional bathroom, a place to sleep and keep what possessions we’ve got left, a place for our elderly dog, a way to cook and wash dishes and laundry, great blessings indeed. So maybe 2018 will be better all around.

 

 

 

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7 responses

6 01 2018
The Wife of Bath

I’m so sorry to hear about your troubles in 2017. I hope 2018 brings you the secure life you deserve!

Liked by 1 person

7 01 2018
Aquila

Thank you. I sure would appreciate some kind of security, this living on the edge is wearing and upsetting. It would be a pleasant change to have those who promise something actually deliver. I never promise unless I know I can make it good. Enjoy your travels in 2018.

Liked by 1 person

6 01 2018
insearchofitall

I agree that this year has to be better than the last. I understand about the job thing. I can’t get one either for many similar reasons. I’m lucky in so many ways to have what I do have and count my blessings every night. I pray this year brings you peace. As for those family heirlooms, I’m giving my children anything they want now and the rest is going away. Donated or sold. My time is limited now so the stuff I treasured will mean very little later. It’s the relationships I’ve made that are making the most difference. I’m so glad I have my family to help me through this time. I wish you did as well. Wishing you a better new year.

Liked by 1 person

7 01 2018
Aquila

I had to get out of my house too quickly to do anything other than pack up what was there and move it to the storage units. The job didn’t come, the money dwindled to nothing and I couldn’t get the spouse or anyone else to help me even open the doors to the units. It was being left with no options at all, I had craft supplies and tools I was using until they were packed up, I made things I sold, I can’t do that now. I lost the genealogy documents, photographs and notes which I had been collecting for decades, those were supposed to be brought to the temporary quarters but weren’t. I was stuck depending on people who didn’t listen to instructions, did what they pleased. They way that things were put in the storage units also pretty much made sure I couldn’t get at anything – mostly big, heavy furniture or other items stacked right in the front so that whatever was behind was walled off. I have no children, I was in the process of contacting cousins about the family heirlooms when we were kicked out of the house and with all the chaos nothing when where it was supposed to. I wish you a good year.

Liked by 1 person

7 01 2018
insearchofitall

I am deeply sorry you are struggling so much. I can think of nothing I can do to help you at this point. I do plan to have a good year as long as I have a year. Each day I’m reminded of all I have to be grateful, even the diagnosis of a terminal illness. Each day now is a gift. All my things will be given away or passed on somehow. I’m grateful for my children who are helping me do that and will care for me in my last days as I hope to care for my sister in hers. We are both dealing with the same thing. I have not mentioned it on my blog as yet. Not sure if I will. Life is impermanent. The last line in my journal at night reads “thank You for the possibility of another day”. It’s not guaranteed. Each breath I take can be my last. There is nothing that can be done by anyone. The world is not fair. It’s never been fair but I still am grateful for all of life. It’s easier to go with gratitude than with anger so I leave the anger behind. I will pray every day that something good comes your way. I’m sure you deserve it. Keep your eyes and heart open for it. I’m wishing you a better year.

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8 01 2018
Aquila

I’ve been keeping you in my prayers as well, Marlene. I’ve been trying to look to the positive, and having you and other blog friends has made the losses bearable. It sure would help to have some kind of income, even if it wasn’t much and I’m still trying to find some kind of employment I can do. It would also help if my spouse was more compassionate. The response to losing the contents of the storage units was belittling and demeaning, I could quote but that wouldn’t help anything. I am seriously considering every option I can find that is reasonable. Take care of yourself, you’re precious.

Liked by 1 person

9 01 2018
insearchofitall

I was thinking of you last night before going to sleep. I am wishing you peace in your heart and some relief for your pain. I’m looking for someway to make a little extra as well. My trailer needs a new roof so I have asked the Angels to cover it with an invisible shield until I can figure out how to find the cash. It’s just life. Hang in there.

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